Used to Be

The clumsy fingers of a child reached for the crank on the back of the music box, grasping it in an awkward grip and winding it around and around until the delicate skin of those fingers began to protest the action. Then, smiling, she released it, listening to the soft chiming music play. Her mother was seated behind her, watching as she laughed and danced to the mechanical melodies.

The music gradually faded, and she frowned at the box, then took the nearly identical one next to it and wound it. With the deeply scrutinizing gaze of a girl who was an entire nine years old, she studied the handle as she let go. For some reason, this song brought about different feelings, and instead of prancing around as she had before, she instead ran up to her mother, grabbing the woman's hand with two of her own small ones.

"Which one do you like more?" the child's mother questioned, and the girl immediately pointed to the first one.

When she was asked why, she answered, "The other song... It's slow and sad. I don't like that. This one's happy and cheers me up."

The mother looked from her daughter to the two music boxes and back, then stood and placed both of them on a shelf.

"So do you want me to take the other one away, then?"

"No, it's pretty... I just don't like it as much. I like being happy, and that song just isn't."

~

Five years later, the girl was back in that same room. She was different now, grown and changed.

She often saw the two music boxes, sitting there on the shelf, but after that night, hadn't stopped again to crank the tiny handles and hear the tinny yet somehow lovely music that they would produce.

Now, she reached again for a music box and, sitting down in the same chair her mother had the first time, wound the first crank and heard again that beautiful melody.

"Happy," she remembered with a smile. "That's what I called it, wasn't it?"

And as the music slowed to a halt, she took the other box into her hands and wound it.

"The song I called sad," she reminisced. "How appropriate, now..."

With a small sigh, she replaced the second box as the song ended, and turned to leave the room, her mind filled with memories of the past and the girl she used to be.